For hire: a Winter boo.

First of all I hate the word “Boo.” Well, I did. It’s one of those words that crept up into our vocabulary as a joke and became real. This same thing happened with “Bling”, but it managed to fade out. “Boo” has planted a flag in the lexicon of our relationships. It’s one of those words that makes you laugh when you hear a couple say it, especially if the dude lets it slip out. Admit it, you’ve said it. The first time you laughed at yourself, the second time it felt…good.

It’s getting colder and as you begin to pack up your linens and things, and pull out the coats and the corduroys, it is time to cut back on some of that summertime flirting. Truthfully, it is exhausting and you need a break. You’ll be spending more time indoors, less time sitting at those outdoor cafes watching summer dresses and muscles shirts pass by. It is time to establish your regiment for the Fall and Winter. (This should include the gym and reading) For those of us that live in a place subject to all four seasons, Winter becomes the season of cold consistency, surrounded by very specific holidays, very specific activity, and very specific cuddling.

I asked some friends what they insisted upon when selecting a “Winter Boo”. Here are their responses:

young coupleMiya:
1. He needs to be substantially big in size to keep me warm.
2. He also needs to have a beard or handsome-looking facial hair for nestling.
3. And he also needs to have a big bag of gifts with him at all times…
He basically needs to be Santa!! Lol

1. He’s gotta have a great ‘nook.’ The nook as I call it, is basically a good arm to chest ratio. Gotta be enough space to let my head settle in nicely without me feeling too big or too small. But instead just right, like the three little bears.
2. Speaking of that same chest to arm ratio…that underarm situation has GOT to be right. Can’t cuddle correctly with a funky boo. If he deals with funk in winter, spring, or fall he needs not apply to be Jovi’s boo. (in any season) Jovi plug: *I LOVE a man with the right cologne.*
3. He’s gotta be as into me as I am into him, and he’s GOTTA be into cuddling. The whole reason for the proverbial winter boo is that its cold, and it necessitates warmth from another. If you don’t wanna be close in the winter, then me and you won’t work. Period.

John J.
1. She can’t be cold!! I mean she can’t be cold-natured, or cold-hearted. She can’t use cold cream, and i don’t even want her to like cold cuts!!!
2. She has to be fond of winter activities. This runs the full spectrum from skiing and Christmas caroling to watch night service and roasting chestnuts on an open fire with jack frost himself nipping at our nose… (i know ur WITH ME HERE).
3. She has to know absolutely HAS TO KNOW that she is a WINTER boo. Not a winter/spring boo, and not a winter with a summer option boo. KNOW UR ROLE LMBO!

a “winter boo” is simply unqualified: as simply stated in a jay-z quote “i’m not looking at you, i’m looking past you.” Long term & sustainable relationships only, anything else would be mis-allocated resources.

I feel you Kimmy. But if it gets cold before I get a chance to grow into that understanding, I’ll be working on my beard and my nook! I just need her not to get on my nerves. I am going to writing a lot in the winter and reading even more. So I’ll need some quiet time and some feedback. She needs to know that it is okay to sit in the same space and not talk sometimes. I’m not talking how Bobby and Whitney watch television, I mean enjoying just being around each other. More Lauryn then Whitney. She must cook…well. She must be able to stay awake through the movie and she cannot, absolutely cannot ask me why I am always on my phone.

She’s gotta be able to cook. Maybe not throw down w/homemade spaghetti sauce but if you’re making spaghetti at least throw some fresh garlic onion and green peppers in there and maybe some homemade garlic bread. In the winter the grocery store better be a girls best friend because like T.I. said “I stack it in the winter, in the summer I’m goin shine.”

Football and beer go together in the winter like mani’s and pedi’s in the spring. Sundays are non-negotiable and Saturday’s are usually booked as well. Just know that I will be planted in front of the tube on Sundays in my Skins jersey cursing at the television and wondering why they threw it to the tight end instead of giving it to the running back who’s on my fantasy team. It will be in our best interests for you to either enjoy football or at least put up with it and my savage mood swings.

Good Whiskey+ DVD of the summer movies I didn’t see+ Good sex= Hibernation Season


3 Responses to “For hire: a Winter boo.”

  1. September 29, 2009 at 2:46 pm

    Oh, and hopefully he can cook.

  2. 3 @trgriff
    September 29, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    i love @kimmyfrye. i didn’t reply for pretty much the same reason. i keep my boo for all seasons. 1 boo…4 seasons.

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