27
Aug
09

My (micro) Justice League of Rappers: Part 1

I have approached this kind of post before. Not only is it an exciting idea because I didn’t get it from anywhere else, but it appeals to my child like imagination. Now, I am sure that this concept has been approached by some blogger, hip hop head or comic book aficionado, but I have never seen it done. So as opposed to just thinking about it, I’m gonna be about it. That has been my mission statement all year. Nothing sits in draft form anymore. Print it, put it in an envelope, buy a stamp and mail it. Even if it isn’t done. So there are some rappers missing, but there are some superheroes missing too, ya dig?

Wait a minute Mr. Post man, are you saying that this is the unequivocal undeniable unarguable Justice League of Rappers? No, but I AM saying that my squad would kick your squads…beats.

BeastX3 biggie Biggie Smalls (The Beast)
Much like the X-Man, Biggie had several voices. If he needed to he could scream on you. If he wanted to he could reason with you.
But no matter what his approach to the track was the right one, and he was going to win any battle (street) smarts or fisticuffs.

lauryn_hilljean greyLauryn Hill (aka Jean Grey) Well, I think it should be obvious but let’s follow the formula. Lauryn can do anything you can do. She’d grab your guitar and learn to play it, she’d take your gospel song and make her version your favorite, in short she could take your power and instinctively adapt it as her own. But there IS a downside to having a great deal of power, isn’t there? Y’all read the comic, y’all saw the movie. The Phoenix is a hard person(ality) to control. Sometimes it cannot be controlled, sometimes it can’t be satisfied. To whom much is given, much goes plum crazy. Come back Lauryn. Please.

mosdefclark_kentMos Def (aka Clark Kent) No, not Superman. Clark Kent. Why? Well, Clark does have all the abilities as Supe, he just doesn’t wear the cape. He doesn’t fly the flag. He is quiet and unassuming, but all the while he is sitting there thinking “I could leap this building in a single bound.” Mos Def isn’t interested in the limelight, more often than not he is willing to take a back seat for the betterment of his people, even if they aren’t from Krypton, I mean Brooklyn. Clark Kent is an actor. Mos Def is an actor. The ability to live dual lives and be appreciated in both communities is a true talent. But isn’t it funny how many viewers of Monster’s Ball wouldn’t recognize Dante on stage? Even funnier is how many people don’t recognize Clark with his glasses on…

batman800px-Black_thoughtQuite possibly my favorite rapper of all time and definitely the most underrated rapper of all time, it should be obvious what Black Thought and Batman have in common. (no pun intended) Batman operates in the shadows and while he is an obvious good guy this front man can also play Robin when neccessary. It is not odd for his gadgets to get more attention than he does. Afterall, we don’t recognize Batman without his symbol flying in the air. This is not to say that being a member of the best band in HIp Hop is bad, but how many of you would recognize Tariq Trotter walking through the streets of Philly without the mask? Not many. In addition, there is something dark about Black Thought’s devices that is similar to Batman’s style. While you wouldn’t expect him to rob you, you’d be hard pressed to see him helping old ladies cross the street.

peter parkereminemI considered Eminem as Spiderman not because he and Toby bear the kind of resemblance that makes family reunions “interesting”, nor for the kind of alliteration that makes assonance jealous (Peter Parker/Marshall Mathers) but because of approach. Spiderman is widely known as the most wise-cracking superhero. Known to add insult to injury, Eminem is often seen as a solo act, unafraid to take on a huge machine, concept, or Mariah Carey. Parker is a photographer and Mathers is a battle rapper. Both have been known to abuse their Cannons. Sorry, Nick, I couldn’t resist.

gambitlil-wayne-5
Lil Wayne as Gambit. Are you getting tired of the Xmen references yet? This one in particular works for me. There’s the gritty voice, there is the dedication to Louisiana and all things Cajun and there is the production of hot fiah! Oh and they are both smokers. Need more? Okay, Wayne and Gambit were both raised by a band of thieves Cash Money and Fagan’s Mob, respectively. Principally Gambit’s power lies in his manipulation of energy, he can use his very own bio kinetic energy to ignite the most obscure objects. Did you hear “Comfortable”? Yeah, that’s obscure.

Part 2: Andre 3000, Busta Rhymes, Jay-Z, T.I., and Bun-B
Feel free to add your thoughts, comments, or suggestions.

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1 Response to “My (micro) Justice League of Rappers: Part 1”


  1. August 31, 2009 at 11:22 am

    This was/is brilliant man…you did NOT go there with the “Cannons” lol


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