What I know:
by Tulani
For the happy, confidant and well kept single woman, every day is the fourteenth. That’s right, Outkast was on to something that they didn’t even know about. They were singing about a truth that many single woman live. Think about it. On any given day a single woman can meet a cute guy, go on a good date, get a pleasant surprise at work or go to a party and meet a cutie to take home. On Sunday the 28th of February a single woman could go to dinner, get flowers, have wine and end with an amazing kissing. And then March 1, do it again. So who really cares about the 14th?
In fact I had Valentine’s Day last night. And a week before that. And three weeks before that. It all depends on what you are saying this said Valentine’s Day really means. If it means, dinner and a movie, sushi and wine with a good looking man, cuddling on the couch eating popcorn and watching dvd’s, or just sitting at a café having brunch and making out, all of these are things that us single women do when we please. We haven’t fallen into the monotony of monogamy. We aren’t waiting for one day that a man can tell us how he “really” feels. We aren’t holding out to see what “he” gets us. We are constantly living those moments, and loving them as well.
Some would say “Valentine’s day is about love” but honestly… it’s about caring. It’s about being with someone you enjoy spending time with, having good conversation and sharing a moment, honestly if you’re not doing that but one day out of the other 364 you don’t need to worry about Valentine’s you need to worry about your relationship.
This Sunday I will be happily cooking dinner and possibly dessert with three of my best friends. Two guys, one girl and me, and honestly I cannot wait. These are the people I care about. These are the people I love; these are the times I want to remember. I won’t feel lonely, or as if something is missing because I’m not on some romantic date. I can go on a date next Sunday, and it would mean just as much if not more.
If society or a card has to tell you to take someone you care out or to say you love them, I’d suggest re-evaluating your motivation. I want something special on a random day. I want a man who says he loves me when he isn’t prompted. I want any other day that is not Valentine’s Day to be special, because really for me, every day is the 14th.
Casa No-Valentine
By Kyle “Scoop” Yeldell
It’s almost February 14.
You’ve seen the DVD commercials for “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and the trailers for “Valentine’s Day”. You’ve heard single ladies say that if you “liked it than you should’ve put a ring on it”.
You’ve seen your ex-boos tweeting about how they’re spending Valentine’s Day with their new boyfriend or your next chick putting up angry status on Facebook about being alone.
Well I am here to help you gather your thoughts and cope with the Valentino virus.
Who am I, you ask? Normally, women call me Casanova, but around this time of year, I am Casa-No-Valentine. See, this year, my casa has no Valentine, but I have participated in said holiday and I know what it takes to determine whether you want to participate yourself, or just treat it like any other day of the week.
Many women unfortunately view this day as a barometer of their self-worth. However, that’s not the case for most men. This holiday is simply one of choice. This day doesn’t define whether you’re desirable. You have options, but you don’t have one worthy enough to be dubbed your funny Valentine.
Valentine’s Day separates single men into categories: the anti-Valentine, the moderate Valentine, and the one who wants to be a Valentine.
The anti-Valentine thinks that this day is a figment of imagination. You have no main chicks, just side chicks. If you want to stay the anti-Valentine, there is one rule you must follow: do NOT allow any of your chicks to think they are your Valentine.
What’s the point in gassing her up to a full tank when you’re driving around the block? No need to make her think that things are more than they are. Invite her (or them) over the weekend after Valentine’s Day, but keep your schedule free on V-Day.
Don’t even send them texts, tweets or e-mails wishing them Happy Valentine’s Day. It sends the wrong message…atheists don’t wish Catholics a merry Christmas. Just like them on Dec. 25, this is not a holy day for you, because you just don’t believe in it.
For the moderate Valentine, you have more options of what to do for Valentine’s Day. You have a few chicks you’re talking to, none of which are your girlfriend, but you might have a main. However, celebrating Valentine’s Day is not something you’re against.
Do some introspection and see if there is a girl you would not mind spending that day with. She could be a chick you’re talking to, an old chick you used to talk to or a female friend that you wouldn’t mind going dutch with for the day.
If you have a girl in mind, do something that you both like. Make it less romantic and more about having fun with each other. Go to the park, go to a moderately priced restaurant and/or go to the movies. If she’s a homegirl, this may be the first of many dates, depending on how this goes.
However, you’re not out there trying to impress. You know these women already and there is obviously something that has already impressed them about you and vice versa.
If you don’t have a girl in mind, just play it cool. You can send Happy Valentine’s texts if you choose to, because in essence, you do appreciate the day’s festivities. You just aren’t “live or die” about it.
The last guy is the worst offender and he is the one who wants to be a Valentine. This guy wants to be someone’s #1 and is willing to give major time to a chick who he thinks is major, even if he is a minor person to her. You’re a hopeless romantic…wait, no, you want to be romantic, but you’re hopeless.
You have one girl, or a couple of girls, in sight and you think any one of them can be “the one”. She’s gorgeous, intelligent, driven, etc. and you’re smitten. This happens to the best of them. I mean, every man wants to be someone’s #1, but it needs to be mutual. If her actions don’t match her words, or you give more time than you receive, I suggest you move along.
Why are you getting mad that she doesn’t respond to your message on Facebook but she updates her photo, or she retweets her friends but doesn’t answer your DMs? Unless you change your thought process, your Valentine’s Day can go one of four ways:
a. She will become your Valentine’s date by proxy because you have asked for a while. However, she has no intentions of dating you seriously
b. She will quickly tell that she views you as a friend and nothing else
c. She becomes annoyed by your constant advances and tells you that she wants nothing to do with you.
d. It’s not the right time for her and she is not open to your advances for things outside of your control.
This is the hardest group for guys to openly identify with, but it happens. Relax this Valentine’s Day. This is not the day for first dates. Try to find a chick that is trying to find you, effective February 15. Don’t lose hope in the day’s festivities, just focus on those that are focused on you.
Fellas, this is not to persuade you to think one way or another about Valentine’s Day, but it is to give you some perspective. If you find yourself in another category next year, refer back to these notes, so you can determine whether your casa will have a Valentine or not.
*log on tomorrow for PUMP that Valentine’s Day by 2.0 and Tulani
